Every problem has a solution

Do you know those nights that keep getting later? Your mind is constantly ticking over the things you have let go in your life and the mistakes you wish you never made.

You are kept up all night about your bank statement, how you hate what you are doing and you really havent got a fucking clue where you want to be?

Welcome to every teenagers nightmare.

Its not easy. When you are at your all time low and you really have nothing to turn to. Either you have broken up with someone, you have lost your job, you didnt get into uni or really you are just 'stuck'.

A lot of people find themselves in this hole and they struggle to find the ladder out, when really it is right in front of you. 

As you know, i havent blogged for quite a few weeks now. Unfortunately, my mind has been preoccupied by this 'hole' i have found myself in. Its that time in your life where you sit up at night and you realise you haven't got a clue what you are doing or how to even get up in the morning. 

For a few days i slept. All day. Not just a casual sleep in- im talking staying up all night staring at my ceiling and then sleeping until 3 o'clock and just wasting away in bed doing nothing about my situation.

THIS IS NOT WHAT YOU DO.

Might sound hypocritical, but it has gotten me nowhere. Each day rolls past and you find yourself buried deeper and deeper. 

Currently- to give you an update. I was offered a job which then by a series of unfortunate events, was no longer available for me. So that was my first push. That then led to me having no source of income- hence no money. Push number 2. 

Then after having no motivation and lack of hope, i started to get into a deep state of mind where i reflected on where i was and why i was here. Things like my recent break up, my recent move away from friends and a state of isolation hit me. i realised, although surrounded by family and few friends i have in sydney- i felt absolutely alone.

This is the worst state of mind anyone can find themselves in. Its that gut wrenching feeling in the middle of the night where you start thinking- why am i here? what purpose do i serve? do i even need to be here anymore? Its depressing and it will get you no where. 

So after multiple days of blocking myself out, i realised how stupid i was being. Happiness shouldn't lie in the hands of finance or 'luck' or any other human being- happiness is entirely in your hands and only you can decide whether you are happy or not. 

Its easy to be depressed and swim in your own misery, but really, you arent going to pull yourself up from that hole. You are handing yourself a shovel and you are digging further and further down.

So i slapped myself (metaphorically) in the face and told myself to wake up. 

Make your own happiness. Reapply to jobs, walk down the road and hand out resumes. Do chores around the house and earn that 'pocket money'. Read the newspaper and listen to the news about the problems in the world, because trust me- yours are minuscule compared to global issues. 

Motivate yourself to believe that you are worth something. Focus on your career and design a pathway that will get you there. 

I know what its like. To stay up every night and find yourself in a state of despair. To hate the way you look, to have no motivation to get out and get a job or meet new people. 

I know what its like to hate who you are and you just want to bury yourself in your blankets and never face the world.

Its misery- pure and utter hatred for yourself and the world around you- and sometimes that darkness never seems to fade.

Well let me tell you- it does.

Hang in there. Your day might not be today or tomorrow or for the next week- but your time will come. It is up to you how you start your day. 

Do you roll over and sleep for another 2 hours? or do you get up, go for a walk and make the most of now. Id take the second option.

It took me a while to get up on my feet again, but with support from my family and with a little faith in myself i have found myself up and running again.

Its okay to have a day of sadness or a day of self reflection where you realise you've fucked up here and there. But its not okay to let those days control your life. Because once you let them control your life, they will eventually turn you into someone you hate and you will never get out of that mind state.

Don't let that boy you used to love control your emotions or your self worth. Don't let money decide whether you are going to go out and or whether you are going to stay in. Don't let your job make you dread tomorrow. 

Do what you love, love the people who love you and see money as a bonus. 

And another pointer- NEVER allow yourself to hate who you are. You are you for a reason, you are where you are because there is something brilliant waiting for you around the corner and you are lucky to be here breathing among everyone else.

There is always a door. There are always people who love and will support you and there will always be a tomorrow.

Its always up to you to decide what you are going to make out of tomorrow.

I found that out for myself and you have to do it in your own time too. 

It is there and trust me- all those long nights and days of misery are going to be worth it and they are stepping stones which will lead you to the person you will become. It will be okay. 

Im not saying it will be easy, you may not ever be in this state of mind- this is for those people who do find themselves waking up and finding themselves at the bottom and failing to see a way to the top again. 

All i am saying is to have faith in yourself, be independant and trust that you arent the only one who feels this way. This things happen and people get kicked down for a reason. Its up to you to control your happiness, you may not be able to change your past but there is plenty of time and many ways you can change your future.  

Thats all for now bloggers, i promise to blog more frequently now that i am back on track.

And just remember - every problem has a solution.

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