Cocaine, Blistered Lips and Fear

A hand in my own.

Fingers interlocked.

An arm wrapped around my waist.

Your blood running with mine.

The world is not so intimidating.

We met.

Cocaine roared through my veins and absinth lingered on my tongue.

The world was spinning. 

Balancing only was i, when you grabbed my waist and asked me to dance.

Foreign you were, brown hair and musty eyes.

Broken you saw me, i could tell.

I may have been high, but i recognise the fear of pain when it is near.

Figment of my imagination, i thought you were.

When i awoke the next day.

My knickers weren't present and bruises painted my neck.

I remembered you.

Lucky you should of felt, i only remember certain things depending on their worth.

Worthy.

You were entirely. I pictured your bleak fingers tracing my collarbone.

Your eyes searching, digging into mine.

I was completely lost, you found me.

Drugs, all of them. 

Alcohol, not enough of it.

My existence was withering.

You picked up the splinter of me and put me back into the plank.

You found what was left of me.

You coloured me when all that was left was an outline.

My eyes were stained.

My skin was thin.

The fire that ran through my spine.

The steam that came from my mouth.

The coal that was left afterwards in my stomach.

You created a warmth in me when i thought i was ice.

Running i was.

What from?

I try to imagine why i would run,

when there are people like you in the world.

The world, built my grave.

You made my bed and brought me home.

I don't know what i would have done..

In a single moment of rare insanity,

i agreed to dance with you.

I stepped away from my misery.

The fog became clear.
The darkness was no longer home.

If it weren't for you.
If you hadn't been there.
Terrified i am, to think where i would be.

6 feet under?
Among trees that cry.
Forever in the dirt.
Watching seasons pass by.

But it was you.
Plaid shirt and rough stubble.
Soft, blistered lips.
Pulling me out of the earth.

I didn't rest in peace.
When all i wanted,
 was to rest in pieces.

No, 
it was you.

You untied me from my anchor,
I began to rise.
It wasn't soon enough,
when brightness finally, swallowed my night.

You showed me how to look.
Showed me how to see.
You un - blindfolded me.

###

The world,

its intimidating.

It taunts and snarls.

It claws at you,

laughs at you when you are down.

The world,

its scary and cruel.

I wasn't ready then.
Im unsure about now.

Im not so terrified anymore,
it doesn't frighten me,
if i'm to end up in the ground.

The world,
can be ignored.
You can control your own,
or you can drown.

###

With you by my side.

I am blind to the world.

With your hand in my own.

With your mouth against my ear.

With your arm around my waist.

With your eyes baring a hole into mine.

With your presence now and forever.

The world is absent.

Just you and me.

Thankfully.