Rum, whiskey and everything sour.

It wasn't too long after, 

when my tongue touched the ice.

When the liquor burnt my throat,

thats when i caught your eye.

I can't promise that i will always be there,

Or that you'll even want me around.

I don't think i can be who you want me to be,

without turning my world inside out.

Its a pressure i cannot handle,

a risk i dare not take.

Life is better off alone for a while,

no disappointments, decisions i would rather not make.

I wont ever upset you,

you wont even care.

It would be nice to hold your hand,

only once in the cold air.

I imagine what it would be like,

to have your arm around my waist.

I couldn't think of anything worse,

than never having been embraced.

I couldn't think of anything worse,

than having you fall behind.

Its a shame that after a few drinks,

that the truth will never be kind.

I apologise in advance,

if i say things that make you believe.

I am sorry if i misread my feelings,

say things which are naive. 

I cannot hide,

what i do not know is there.

But after a glass or two,

i can't help but feel bare.

I may seem like someone,

who you think you know.

But like in the desert,

its somewhere that will never see snow.

There will be a day, 

when i meet someone.

A day will come,

when i will no longer hide from the sun.

Hopefully, 

we will meet again.

That will be the day, 

when the ink runs from my pen.

I will be ready,

there will be no wall.

On top of a mountain,

i won't care if i fall.

Until then,

these chains will hold me down.

Buried under water,

i can't help but drown.

I wish i could stay forever,

a night with you.

Where the hours are long,

too good to be true.

I wish i could commit,

to being someone who i'd rather be.

Maybe if i closed my eyes,

clearer, i would see.

Maybe if i forgave,

what the years had done.

Forget the empty promises,

the days where i all i wanted to do was run.

But the damage is burnt,

embroidered in my skin. 

Scars trace my body,

reminding me of a battle i did not win.

I cannot love, 

even if i tried.

I would end up saying things i didn't mean,

if i said i love you it would of meant i lied.

I will dance, 

and kiss here and there.

But my feelings, 

are something i do not wear.

They lied to me once,

why should i trust them again?

So when you tell me that this time will be different,

I can't help but question when.

I will laugh, 

and kiss you on the cheek.

But my heart will be empty,

a lust too weak.

A smile reflected in your eyes,

i'll turn away.

i said i couldn't promise you,

that i'd be here to stay.

Forgive me later,

regret me now.

I'm sorry i'm the reason,

for your furrowed brow.

For when the days go dark,

and the sun will rise.

Ill be gone just after dawn,

before you even meet my eyes.