I could offend a lot of people... including my ex.
However, i think i need to put aside my personal afflictions and post what i think is necessary. Something that every girl needs to hear.
This could also be relevant to men, but from a girls perspective its going to be directed purely from the girls point of view in the relationship.
Where to start?
They are nice. I have heard the odd quote "what do i do with them", "how often do i feed them", "do i take them for walks"?
Boyfriends are beautiful. Truly, there is nothing nicer than having someone to fully share your interests with, to call to say goodnight and to rely on when no one else is there for you.
What hurts the most is when they're not and at the age i have found that...they're not.
A lot of boys my age are in their 'discovery' mode. Out to find the latest edition, the new sex toy, the younger more naiive girls.
They arent interested in being the less dominant. They dont want a girl with ambitions and a better car than them. Boys just want to be looked after and told that they are the best, most muscly boy that a girl has ever seen.
Im sorry...but you are never going to hear those words from me, nor will i dedicate my life and my own aspirations on the line for someone else.
I had a boyfriend for nearly two years. Yes, i cherish those years. He taught me things i would never have known, and i fell in love. We were smitten for a few months and then came the tears.
The fighting over why i was talking to this guy, why i wasnt allowed to wear a short skirt out and why i wasnt spending as much time with him as i was my girlfriends.
Although we fought, we also loved each other. We were best friends, we graduated together and genuinely i thought that it might have ended up being a potential marriage.
I was so stupid.
It shows how only 6 months down the road, how much growing up i have endured. How much i have learnt about myself by being alone, than i ever did in those 16 months being in a relationship.
I'm no longer tied down. I have the freedom to explore myself, explore other people, travel and go out and do what ever the fuck i want.
Im not saying that if you are in a relationship now, that you should cut them loose. If you are happy- its all that matters.
But only if you are happy and he is the reason you wake up in the morning- should you continue dating.
Its a constant struggle. Its the battle of sexes. Who puts in more effort. Who buys who better gifts- who is more dedicated.
It shouldnt be about a war or who is better or who loves who more. It should be even and should be natural.
If you find yourself at night considering other people- wondering if you could do better- you're at the end of the line. You wouldn't be having those thoughts if you felt he was the 'one'.
If the boy breaks up with you, and you still love him unconditionally.... do not wait.
Do not try to fix things when he has obviously moved on. Do not put yourself in that position where you are no longer dominant and your feelings become of second nature to him.
You can go for a round #2, have a magical night and believe that it may be working out again, but would you trust them? When you are out of their sight- would you be out of their mind?
I tried- i tried the round 2. Only to have him be txting other girls and it hit me... i was no longer enough. I didnt satisfy him, me alone. He needed other girls- he needed the confidence of others and i was no longer the love of his life.
The truth was blunt. It stared me right in the face and although it hurts like a thousand rusty knives, i knew it was time.
You eventually have to let go. I still look back on memories and feel like i am at a loss. However, i go about my day, enjoy the little things life offers and realise- if its meant to be it will be. And in this case- it wasn't meant to be.
You can dwell on it - i'll give you a 6 month sorrow pass. But anymore than that its time for you to move on. There are millions of other people in the world and your eyes have only been on one.
You don't have to go on a dating rampage or have sex every weekend with someone different each time. It just means you now have the freedom to be you- and you have the opportunity to follow any direction you choose- and let it see where it takes you- guilt free.
Also- dont 'try to be friends'. This is bullshit and never works. How can you just go back to 'being friends' after you have intimately been involved with someone for a period of time. No one can go back to looking someone in the eye and not seeing all of them but having to cover it up as a 'friendship'.
Don't be his friend. Its not worth it. Its his way of not committing- but holding onto you so no one else can have you.
You don't want to be that 'bro', you are better than that. If he doesnt want you- dont give it to him the way he wants it. If he can't handle you now- through sex, tears and laughs- then he cant have the best side of you as a friend.
Its the typical thing men do. Girls do it to- guilty. But really its the biggest cop out i have heard. Its saying "i dont want to be in a relationship with you, but in the odd chance i am horny- will you be there for me"?
Its saying "i dont want to be there for you emotionally, but if i strike out tonight- will you be there for me physically"?
He will use you. He doesnt deserve that.
Now i have a feeling that by posting this i may be considered as 'a boys worst enemy'. But its the truth and these things need to be shared.
A lot of my girlfriends, including myself have experienced a break up recently, and this is my way of helping.
You dont need him. Boyfriends are beautiful- but the truth is- you have two options. You are either going to marry them or break up with them. Its destiny. So dont beat yourself up over a relationship which has ended. Its just making another doorway for someone better to walk through.
Its almost a priviledge. Wouldn't it kill you to think you have stuck around with someone who you eventually fall out of love with - and then realise you could of done so much better 10 years down the track.
Boyfriends... who needs them? Its not a need, more of a want. You don't NEED anyone but yourself- and before you can love him- you must first love yourself.
If you need to contact me- you can ask me all sorts of relationship questions through my contact page.
Thats all for now girls and boys.
Ill be in touch soon x
No comments:
Post a Comment