The Golden Rule

“One of the risks of being quiet is that other people can fill your silence with their own interpretation: You’re bored. You’re depressed. You’re shy. You’re stuck up. You’re judgmental. 

When others can’t read us, they write their own story—not always one we choose or that’s true to who we are.”

I was caught up in the fascination of wanting to be my own person. 

To keep originality and to remain isolated from any stereo-type.

I struggled through school, with ciphering through agendas and keeping up with trends and quirks.

I became everything that I wasn't and it took me a long time to realise that I couldn't be somebody that I'm not.

I forget to realise that I am still so young, and this adult world built around me shadows my inner child and I concave into insecurity and relinquish all hope in individuality.

My actions do not predict my words, and my words do not signify who I am.

Judgements can be made in someones mind and unfortunately there is nothing we can say nor do that will ever change that characteristic that will inevitably live within us.

Who we are to some, will differ among many.

And it has been an important thing for me to remember that.

That no matter what I do or say... not everybody can be pleased.

I have previously gone down paths which have led me to change who I am.

In the process I either hurt my family, myself or my friends.

What was most important to me, I let slip through my fingers and it became a cycle of constant disappointment.

I was never entirely happy with outcomes from my actions and from a young age, I learnt that who I want to be in the future is entirely dependent on the person I am today. 

I have gone through phases of becoming susceptible to societies trends.

With eating, drinking, dressing, acting- you name it...who I am has been a continual construction of every single mistake and mishap that I have had.

I think this is what I am trying to underline.

That who we are...can not be judged entirely upon what we do at current.

Who we are is a production of our life from birth to now.

Traits in our personality and with certain things we do and say are just pieces of our past becoming present.

I have fought my whole life, trying to outdo what I have already done.

I don't know why and when I try to justify my actions or try to reason with my motives, people will always fight back.

Negative or positive- each man for their own.

Who we are and what we make of ourselves shouldn't rely on the people we hang out with or what we study or how we live out day to day.

Trying to constantly keep up with being told what I can and can not do.

What is right and what is wrong.

Why things should happen and why things are not allowed.

These are situations that I assume everyone encounters every day.

It diminishes our self-worth,

makes us question who it is we are,

it forces us to want to change and conform.

I used to think that this was important.

That conformity can swallow a town whole and nobody will realise.

Because your actions depict who you are.

How you deliver or present yourself says who you have become.

What you say and how you live tells everybody what sort of person you to become.

It took me 6 months with a lack of motivation, isolation and loss of self-identity to realise that who I had become was not who I wanted to be.

I realised that the people who made me happy, I had abandoned.

I noticed that the way I was living, was a state of denial and my motives and actions reflected someone who I no longer wanted to be.

I became detached from who I was and I fell into a state of depression.

It took some hard yards to rediscover my motives and ambitions and get back on track to rescue my inner happiness.

It was a little bit of guidance and just accepting my final position that allowed me to realise that the way I lived my life, how I was seen by others and how I saw myself, 

 was a curation of who I had become. 

I had to learn to block out judgements, opinions and discussions and I had to listen to what mattered most to me.

I had to listen to my own voice and learn to live in a world where I would have to adapt to a society where you will never please anyone or be good enough for everyone.

People are going to let you down.

People are going to say things about you.

People are going to push and pull at you and try to change you.

The key is to remain sound.

To keep strong and clear-minded and recognise that at the end of the day...it's just going to be you.

That the only thing that should matter or dictate your life- is your own opinion.

You'll never be happy if you never stay grounded or true to yourself (sounds very cliche) but it's true.

"Do good unto others as you would have them do unto you" can always play an important role in your life, but don't lose yourself expecting to receive what you give out.

That is all for today 

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