However, i know that i dont want to end up being 'lonely'.
Being alone, and feeling lonely are two completely different things.
I love being alone. Its actually healthy to be alone once in a while- i may be alone a little too frequently, but that is just who i am and how i am comfortable.
What i dont love is feeling 'lonely'. No one does.
Being alone is a self made decision. You isolate yourself from the outside and prefer the company of your self. You have some time to reflect, to meditate or to remember who you are. You can set goals, achieve them and gain a larger perspective of life. Being alone can possess that of a comfort zone.
Some people also get confused between loneliness and being 'alone. They are seen as the same thing in many people's eyes and therefore the two are portrayed as a negatory emotion.
I am here to tell you that being 'alone' is not to be considered as 'lonely' and being alone is healthy and you shouldn't classify the two as each other.
Loneliness is an emotion. It is something you feel when you are isolated without choice and therefore you feel like you are not wanted, not needed and therefore can lead to depression. Loneliness is something you do not choose. It chooses you.
Being alone is a choice. You have the option to be alone and it does not come hand in hand with being lonely.
Taking some time off to sit by yourself and read a book or partake in any activity singularly, means that you have chosen to be by yourself and be alone as an individual. It gives you time to get back to your roots and to allow yourself some room to breathe.
Being alone allows yourself to acknowledge who you are and where you are going in life and you have the time to clear your mind and get back to who you are. Talk to yourself, look at your life and realise that by being alone- you are independant and you are someone who is unlike any other individual.
Loneliness, its miserable. We have all been there. Its not something that we want to feel- and on the off hand that we do experience this emotion, it can lead us into a black hole. It can isolate us from who we are and instead of feeling 'alone' by choice- we feel like we have no other option but to feel this way and it can lead to some serious medical conditions.
To refrain from feeling 'lonely' we must allow ourselves to feel content with being 'alone'.
We should not see being 'alone' as a negatory thing and therefore should not feel 'lonely' when being 'alone' is thrust upon us.
Depression is a serious matter and i believe that these two things- these two completely different things are two of the main reasons that lead to depression.
Society has painted an image that loneliness and being alone are the same. And our judgements of the two are seen as a defect in our lives.
If someone says "i just want to be alone", we automatically assume that they are 'lonely' or are depressed and therefore we label them as depressed or in some sort of dark place.
As a society if someone says "i just want to be alone" we dont see it as they want to self reflect, or relax or just take a break from seeing their friends or work collegues. No, we judge them and label them and them push them into a state of mind where they themselves then think that they are 'lonely'.
Its okay to be alone. Its healthy and natural. We are individuals for a reason and we arent designed to be around other people 24 hours of the day. We grow tolerant of those around us, and naturally enjoy the company of others, but we are also built to enjoy the company of ourself.
We are allowed to want some time to be on our own, enjoy our life as no one else has walked in our shoes and we are allowed to choose when we want to be alone and when we don't want to be.
We are allowed to be alone. Yes, yes we are. If anyone tries to tell you differently, they are lying to themselves as not one individual in their life should not want to be alone. If they need people around them 24/7 or remain fixed on the idea of always having someone around them- they are the one with the 'medical condition' as they are too insecure to feel content in their own skin.
The constant need of human interaction may be seen as 'harmless' but you lose yourself amongst the crowd. You forget who you are, what your characteristics make you and where you want to be in your own life. People who need the company of others- live in the lives of those around them and forget their origins. They dont have fulfillment in their own lives and therefore choose to forget their life and create a 'better' life in their friends and foes.
If anything- being alone shouldn't be seen as a symptom of 'depression' or a 'lonely' emotion, but people who need to surround themselves with others consistently, need to be classified as something related to dark mind.
Needless to say- im tired of people thinking im sad or depressed because i enjoy my own company. I dont need a secure friendship group or a boyfriend or an army of facebook followers. I am entirely happy on my own and anything on top of that is a bonus.
When i am lonely- i have my close friends and family beside me- but i am tired of the two being seen as the same. god. damned. thing.
Let this be a little lesson to those who havent taken a break by themself lately- it will work wonders.
And for those who are alone- or are called 'lonely'. Its healthy and you shouldn't beat yourself up for allogations of being 'alone'. You are comfortable in your own skin and you are a stronger person for that.
You dont need security as you have it in yourself and you will always know that whether you do have a million friends in the future or a family - that at the end of the day- you can always trust that you can and will be able to survive happily, alone.
Goodnight x
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