I dont like poems or happy endings and my story doesnt begin with once upon a time.
My writing is daft and my spelling isnt always perfect but my words are hymns to those who like to read.
When the sun would meet the the lips of the ocean, thats when we would meet. His van was like a rolling cloud of marijuana smoke and the beatles sang from his stereo. He would tap his hand against the wheel and i would blow cigarette smoke out of the window.
I will begin at a lake. A lake i used to swim in frequently, where the waters ran wild and the rocks wore moss greener than a well watered lawn.
We would swim in the lake, a young boy and i, we would fall from tied ropes and our mouths would touch ever so lightly. The bottom was a mystery that we never dared to touch, but the water kept us hovering, lingering in the arms of each other.
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When i was alone, it was dark but warm. My lights were amber and incense blew of a musty oak. I would smoke out of my bedroom window, with a towel under the door whilst my ipod would shuffle through songs of my decade.
The night was quiet, but loud with colour and my excitement would peak when the moon would smile and the stars would laugh. The air was bitter and my sheets were stiff, and i no longer felt the need to stay.
The world is large, but time is short and there was only one place i wanted to be. Waters running and trees standing still, the lake was where i would go.
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It was different when dark, when the lake was dead, but somehow i found my home.
I didnt want you to leave me that day when you hit your head against that rock. The ropes were tired after carrying people all year round. It slipped a few knotches and gave you a fright which made you too weak to hold on.
The rapids were crying and the rocks didnt hug you and i was to late to try and save you.
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His bed was small, but big enough for two. His pillows were empty, but held my head and his arms would secure me tight. His feet would dance against my own and his heart was a beat too fast. His breath was stale, but his eyes were bright and he was the only thing i wanted.
I hated the way he ate. He would pick and choose stubbornly and then retire to just a drink. He would smoke a packet a day and his hair was uneven. His teeth were pearls and his mouth was thin, but his arms were strong enough to hold my own.
He was loud and obnoxious, but also wanting to be free. He liked doing things others would question but didnt care for their thoughts. He was fierce but shy and held his emotions in cages. He was seductive and mysterious, something that made me wildly attracted to him.
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I went to the lake last night. I was no longer lonely. I was alone, but you were there and from the rapids you reached for my hand. Your face was pale and your breath was gone, but mine was too.
I was ready for this, i knew it was coming, i no longer wanted to see.
My eyes were closed, and from behind my lids i saw again.
The water was ice, but numbed the pain and finally i was washed away.
We swam together, endlessly through the night and forever we would float.
It was all i ever wanted, to be with you and finally the time had arrived. Since the moment you fell and the sirens were calling and you couldnt be revived, i knew there was a countdown.
When you fell in the water and your head didnt rise, i knew where i needed to be.
There wasnt a moment where i walked away from you, i only went home to write this letter.
A letter of remembrance, a letter to those who i loved but not as much as i loved you.
That the water still runs and the moon still smiles and the sun will always kiss the lips of the ocean. That our fingers are now entwined and the rope will still sway whilst our bodies swim among the lake.
Our love will join the moss on the rocks and forever we will remain.
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