For a few minutes i could have that incredible chance of doubling my money. Its zoning out and just gambling a few dollars and putting it out there. Its sitting back in the swivel chair, having a beer and saying 'fuck it'- double or nothing.
Its crazy the people you meet in casinos and pokie rooms. You realise that a lot of people gamble. Not just money, but this weeks rent, their daughters tuition, their food for the week. A lot of people have hope- but not a lot of luck. I mean, i guess i can justify a few reasons as to why i can play pokies and not be called an addict. But fuck, its easy to wind up at 50 sitting at a slot machine and not recognise the time it became too late to walk away.
Tonight my sister and i went out. We came home with what we call 'pokie blues', but we came to the fact that we cant do it. We cant afford to be one of those people. Its really fucking sad, watching people win and the light in their eyes doesnt light up anymore. They are blank and they just keeping tapping that stupid little button in chance of winning the 'jackpot'.
Then there are the 'first timers'. Putting $5 in a machine and they walk away with $50 and it made their night. They dont know what button means what and they dont know what it means when the loud music all of a sudden starts pounding from their machine. Its pure and utter innocent happiness. Contrast the two people in that room and its unbelieveable.
People walk into the pokie room for 5 minutes and walk away with hundreds. People sit their all night and walk away with nothing. The difference is- the people who had hope of winning or 'expected' to win- got shit all.
The people who didnt expect anything and just wanted the experience win fucking everything.
Kind of an important lesson i learnt.
Dont test your luck.
Dont expect anything- be happy with what you have and know when it is the right time to walk away.
Dont spend all your time searching for something that is one in a million, it will come to you when it is your turn.
Then again, i need to listen to my own advice sometimes and know when enough is enough.
I am a compulsive smoker, gambler, eater- compulsive fucking everything. And i need to recognise what i need in my life and what i need to walk away from.
Who would of thought a night out at the pokies would bring such a harsh reality--- definately no jackpot tonight.
Not much of a blog tonight- more of a rant and i apologise.
May it reconcile with some and be a total delusion to others but this is all from me tonight.
Adios bloggers, may your bets be ever in your favour. x
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