Ideally, I would love to start with saying that this is exactly how i planned for my life to be. However, in saying that, I would be lying through my teeth.
Lately, i have had a few comments on what i have been writing and the 'theme' of my blog and although some of it is relatively positive feedback, there are always going to be a few shadows that follow the sun.
These shadows are not entirely negative but do reflect concern and question the content of my writing. Most importantly, with ongoing 'shadows' appearing now and then, I have started to question myself and my blog.
From the beginning, I wanted to inspire and educate- not that I don't want to do that now, but I find it a struggling task to be consistently providing nurturing and happy articles. In reality, life isn't always positive and that's where my blog reflects my life.
My blog is realistic, and I find that although if I post positive blogs, some people are not as interested in my happiness or advice as much as they are about my problems and darker posts. I also found that when I started to open up with my writing and started to present a more 'personal' side to my blog- that's when the comments and feedback began.
It wasn't all about being inspirational or telling people how to live their life, my blog became a metaphorical shoulder to lean on and people responded to that.
Although posting some darker thoughts has stirred the pot a bit, I recognised where my audience was. Although it became tiresome reassuring my parents and family that I was indeed happy and fine and yes my posts might be darker than usual, I still kept true to what i believed was worthy of posting.
I didn't write to reassure people that i was happy, i wasn't writing to lie to people about my teenage life, and i will continue to write dark and light posts because its what is true and that's all my blog needs to be.
I didn't plan on my blog becoming something well recognised and I guess I assumed that maybe my writing was never going to be read to a larger audience. This isn't what I expected, but it has been one of the best things that has ever happened to me.
People who i think wouldn't even bother reading my blogs comment and message me with feedback about how its helped them and thanking me.
I never saw myself being 'thanked'. I was just writing about my life, but in a way that I was writing for myself, people found reassurance in themselves by hearing that they aren't alone.
I guess it was a big thing for me to write the articles I do on my blog, and courage wasn't necessarily rewarded. I have struggled, and yes, my life isn't 100% full of happiness, however I do the best I can.
I think that was a big thing for me, and a big thing for my readers to understand. That my blog became a lot more serious than i intended it to be and all of a sudden i felt responsible for a crowd of people who relied upon hearing how i recover from personal struggles or would wait to read yet another emotionally driven piece.
Basically, the reason I do what I do, or 'post what I post' is generally because of how my feedback has sculptured and nurtured my reasons to blog.
I began to blog with no general purpose, it was just a 'time-filler' and the motivation to keep blogging was introduced later on down the track.
I found a purpose doing what I love without searching for it, and I was very lucky in finding that.
My mistakes became my reader's blanket and it restored faith back into people's lost hope.
I wouldn't pat myself on the shoulder or i wouldn't even call my blog one of the best- all i can say is that people come to my blog and read my writing because they know what they are looking for - and they know they are going to find it here.
Every emotion, mistake, inspiration- everything is welcome here, and I believe that my blog is genuine and humane and that without a few darker posts every now and then- i would be erasing half of my life. That's not what I'm here for.
So, thank you for hanging in for this rant
#rantover
Until next time
x
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